Port O’ Leith Bar

The Undiscovered Country

Number 12 – 8th June 2001

The Empire Strikes Back!

So The Village has opened, in a blaze of publicity. The opening party, we hear, was a great success, with the revelry continuing all afternoon.

However, inside sources have revealed to InterPoL that the participants soon wobbled off to their old favourite, an evening of imbibing and music in the Port O’ Leith – the usual Friday night mayhem.

Insufficient! Your correspondent is much travelled, and so has spotted the Moriarty Empire’s lightning response. Tucked away in a backstreet near Dreghorn, we find MARY’S BAR (see photo) which aims to claw back lost punters.

Freshly released from his modelling duties for a Corstorphine Toby Jug manufacturer, barman Sam the Later told InterPoL that business had been brisk. “We’re very popular with the military. Aw’ these squaddies look forward to somewhere to lean their Kalashnikovs after a hard yomp over the Braids. We huv everything they need. Breakable furniture, free baseball bats, and the ambulance parked round the back.”

So, gentle reader, go there, or be square, I suppose

In this issue: Bar Wars, German mating rituals, Football latest, Where are they now?  and all the usual abuse, nonsense and downright lies.

Mary Moriarty and the Port O’ Leith take no responsibility for the rubbish printed here or on any other page

next page >