Jokes, Quotes & Facts

Did you know.....?

It was the accepted practice in babylonia 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink.  Mead is a honey beer, and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the "honey month" or what we know today as the "honeymoon".

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day." - (Frank Sinatra)

A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers.  He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back."

The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan's offer. One man even leaves.

Thirty minutes later the man who left comes back and taps the Texan on the shoulder.  "Is your bet still good?", asks the Irishman.  "Why, yeah !" says the Texan and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of  Guinness.  Immediately the Irishman tears into the pints drinking all 10 back-to-back.

The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amasement.

The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, "If ya'll don't mind me askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were away?".

The Irishman replies, "Oh...I had to go to the pub down the street to make sure I could do it first."

"Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder." - (anonymous)

Did you know.....?

Before thermometers were invented, brewers would dip a thumb or finger into the mix to find the right temperature for adding yeast. Too cold, and the yeast wouldn't grow. Too hot, and the yeast would die. This thumb in the beer is where we get the phrase "rule of thumb".

"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." - (Dean Martin)

"Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can't say it." - (anonymous)

Did you know.....?

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts. So in Old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them to mind their own pints and quarts and settle down. It's where we get the phrase "mind your p's and q's".

"abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure." - (Ambrose Bierce)

"Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol." - (anonymous)

Did you know.....?

Beer was the reason the Pilgrims landed at Plymouth rock. It's clear from the Mayflower's log that the crew didn't want to waste beer looking for a better site. The log goes on to state that the passengers "were hasted ashore and made to drink water that the seamen might have the more beer".

"A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her."

"What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?" - (W.C. Fields)

Did you know.....?

After consuming a bucket or two of vibrant brew they called aul, or ale, the Vikings would head fearlessly into battle often without armor or even shirts. In fact, the term "berserk" means "bare shirt" in Norse, and eventually took on the meaning of their wild battles.

"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy." - (Tom Waits)

"Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life." - (Michelle Mastrolacasa)

Did you know.....?

In 1740 Admiral Vernon of the British fleet decided to water down the navy's rum. Needless to say, the sailors weren't too pleased and called Admiral Vernon "old grog", after the stiff wool grogram coats he wore.  The term "grog" soon began to mean the watered down drink itself. When you were drunk on this grog, you were "groggy".

"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind." - (Humphrey Bogart)

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." - ( Henny Youngman)

Did you know.....?

Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim or handle of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle", is the phrase inspired by this practice.