It's Spring, 1998. The birds and the bees are hard at it, and World Cup
footie looms. Who will be selected, who sent home, and who will win? It's enough to drive
a man to drink, isn't it Gazza?
EuroSong is also here. Same every year - that's
one thing never changes. But check out one singer for a most unusual past!
Me, I get my hair cut rather short. Very short
indeed. (Probably bevvied.) So what? People's reactions, that's what.
Well then I fall out with a friend, don't I,
and go for max publicity... Tabloid Style, where everything's such a SHOCK!!
While down on the Water of Leith two birds of a
feather flock very close together...
ROYAL DIVORCE
SHOCK!!
Blair visits Queen!!
SUN EXCLUSIVE!
By our Royal reporter, Andrew Bowes-Lyon
Yesterday afternoon, Tony Blair, the Prime Minister (as long as we let
him be), made the following announcement to a packed and hushed House.
"Her Majesty expresses her shock
and deep regret at the breakdown of the marriage between Their Royal Highnesses the Prince
magnificat, and the Princess Granny. This is on account of Princess Granny's drunkenness,
adultery, and generally unreasonable behaviour."
"My son was coming to see me in tears
every night," Her Majesty explained. "That is no way for a
future King to be treated - even him."
At a hastily convened Press conference outside the House, Princess Granny was
inconsolable.
"That's my fucking income halved!" she howled, over a
restorative glass of strong lager. "I'll get the cunt if it kills me!"
Sources close to the Palace suggest that Granny should avoid fast cars
and underpasses for quite some time.
Tacky and Tasteless, I hear you mutter. And Diana not cold in her
grave yet!
Well do you know something - you are RIGHT! The SUN holds no monopoly in
Bad Taste.
Now...what ELSE was Lady Di famous for? Hmmmm....
