STYLE!!
magnificat skinhead shock!!
By our Hair reporter, Ricki Lake
This story contains strong language
and adult material.
Leith's "in-crowd" was rocked to its
very foundations yesterday, when fashion superguru magnificat burst into the "Abandon
Hope" sporting a new, terrifying, skinhead hairdo.
"Dinnae gie's any yer
fucking shite!" he snarled at his gaping gang of groupies. "This cunt's
fucking hard from now on!"
Later that afternoon, in a more relaxed and
expansive mood, magnificat gave the following interview exclusively to THE SUN.
Speaking from a plastic-covered
couch in his £80 a day executive sauna club, he slugged back a can of Carlsberg Special
whilst a trailer-trash youth (18+) performed an act of gross indecency.
"That's smashin,
kid," he purred to the tattooed, shaved and pierced lad. "Keep that up an
we gonna be real good friends. What kinda car was it you said you wanted?"
"Goo goo!" said
the guy. "A-glug-a-glug," manfully staying on-task.
So how did it feel to look like a hardened
criminal?
"Strange, certainly," magnificat
replied. "It's kinda weird seeing people edge away from you in pubs and even in
the street. I've dropped my voice half an octave, and stopped saying Please and Thank
you."
He reached down then and stroked
his young friend's shaved head, adjusting him to a better rhythm.
"Don't want to disappoint em
or disillusion, now do I? Within a very short time I'm gonna have to actually deck some
cunt."
Magnificat-watchers have been concerned lately
about the star's apparent emotional disintegration. Spending hours a day outside tattoo
parlours and piercing clinics, he now has the words "Travis" on one hand
and "Bickle" on the other - a further worrying sign of descent into
serial killing.
Our reporter made her apologies
and left, with the words "I ate his liver..." trailing behind her,
chillingly portentous.
