Easter Message from magnificat:

We had planned to bring you this glorious Easter Sunday your personal webcast from His Holiness the Pope - live by modem from the Vatican.

Unfortunately His Holiness's webcast has been severely infected with the MELISSA virus, a conditions for which at present there is no cure known.

Features of the Melissa strain are to infiltrate your address book then email your first 50 contacts with a list of Pornographic (such an ugly word!) sites. A nasty little bug, but essentially harmless. Anyone who tries to make money off the Internet deserves all they get, if you ask me, which you probably didn't, but there again nobody made you read this damn site did they?

And, despite his much-publicised holiness, not to say celibacy, The very Pope Himself has not been immune.

Thus we've spent our entire Easter sunday wallowing in faithless filth, on sites such as...

	Wish they'd stop naming bleedin viruses after me! by Mrs M Gates
	What's in a name? by Karl Wojtyla
	Father Ted: Why he had to go
	"Good evening Fathers. What can I get you?" by Blessed Virgin Mary
	"Got any cheap candles boys?" (BVM)
	"Love the figurehead, Mary. Wish I had one," by Jesus Christ
	My Knights of Pain with the Inquisition, by Father Sam
	"Who's got what" in the Vatican showers, by Father Granny
	Father Ted: How we did it
	Where to eat in the Vatican, by Friar Scott
	Buy a used choirboy cheap, by Old Father John
	"Hey Big Boy...ya got anything to confess?" by Sister Norma
	Father Ted: You surely don't fall for that shit about heart failure?
	"I'm straight as a ruler," Saint Paul
	"Seen plenty of bent rulers," Saint Peter
	"Ham salad or cottage cheese?" Saint Mark
	"Hope they don't hear about this back home," Saint George Michael
	Puff the Magic Dragon, Saint Peter, Paul and Mary
	Father Ted: Check out the list of dead Popes, baby
	Get that fucking church music off! by Father Percy
	"Losing my Religion" by Father Grahame and Father Robin
	Beano was just Dandy, by Father Stuart (nice one doll....m :))
	"Never done this before," by Brother Beano
	And the band played Annie Laurie.....

"Beano" and "Dandy" are Registered Trademarks of D C Thomson and Co., Dundee, Scotland. They bear no resemblance to any person, living or dead.

And of course a happy Easter to all our readers. Or spring festival. Or bacchanalia. Or ... fuck I don't care. Hope u like the new look, by the way. It took ages. But I can change it any time I want. The wire netting represents imprisonment but looking out.

PS Don't open email attachments, especially ones ending in .doc - or you could be Melissa's next lover.

This from magnificat's psychiatrist, RD LAING... (big Ronnie fae Glescae)