Hi and welcome to a few words on a subject unfortunately too close to my heart - depression. Or rather, in my own case, SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder), or winter depression.

The first I was aware of this name was watching an Open University programme which shot through me like lightning. Every single word described exactly the pain and horror I'd come to expect every December and January. For me this was just so commonplace I thought it must be normal.

Then I was working as a freelance journo, and so was able to write a ground- breaking article "Northern Lassitudes in a Winter of Discontent." (Header by "Scotsman" staff - article by me.) Then a couple of years later I did an   autumn follow-up beginning with one of my finest sentences...

"Gold is in the Scottish leaves again, and the SAD people sense the party's almost over."

There's a lot of plagiarism in health journalism - before you know it, your pieces are appearing in Which, in Reader's Digest, and so on. Re-written of course, but the same damned ideas.

So, although The Scotsman has a limited readership, we're pleased to say that the wider dissemination of our SAD writings has now substantially improved the recognition of this horrible disability, and promulgated the only successful treatment, the light box.

My light box is the most precious item in my home. I would part with the very bed and chairs rather than give it up.

The following pieces describe a few of my more recent experiences. Before the light box there was nothing to write about but the desperate daily struggle not to kill myself - a feeling many who have clicked this link will know all too well.